Motherhood

Talks

Quotes

Life doesn’t come with a manual…

It comes with a mother

Sometimes we so much want to give our children the things we never had, that we fail to give them the things we did have. 

One reason we may question the significance of our role as mothers is that there are very few external rewards and accolades for being a mother.  I have yet to receive a ribbon for trying a new recipe.  I have received no trophies for giving birth without an epidural.  Those things simply don’t exist.  Therefore, it is vitally important for every one of us as women to truly understand, in our heart of hearts, that what we do everyday does matter.  In fact, it matters a lot.

Think for a moment about the plan of salvation, the reason we are here.  The whole purpose of the plan is for spirit children to come to earth and receive a mortal body, to be taught the gospel of Jesus Christ, and to be prepared to receive ordinances and make covenants that will allow them to return and live with their Heavenly Father. 

Now consider your role in that plan.  You are the one who brings those children into this world and gives them a mortal body.  You are primarily the one who teaches them the gospel of Jesus Christ and prepares them to receive the ordinances and covenants that will enable them to return to their Heavenly Father.  It doesn’t get any bigger than that!  In the eternal scheme of things, you are center stage; you have the leading role.  If I were to ask you to make a list of all the people whose role is larger than yours, what would you write?  I can only think of one name, and that is the Savior himself.  He has entrusted us with so much. – Shannon Williams

There was once a man walking down the road who came upon two men building a wall at a construction site.  He asked the first guy “What are you doing?”  He answered, “I’m laying bricks.”  He then asked the second guy “What are you doing?”  He answered, “I’m building a cathedral.”  There is a world of difference in those two answers.  It has been said, “”Where there is no vision, the people perish.”  The same is true of motherhood.  Are you laying bricks, or are you building a cathedral?

William Ross Wallace said, “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”

Sisters, it is important to recognize that there is a window of opportunity when it comes to parenting.  Rearing children is analogous to pouring cement.  When cement is wet, a small bird walking across it can leave a permanent indentation.  However, once the cement hardens, not even a heavy elephant can leave a mark.  So it is with children’s minds. 

Rearing children is also like investing.  If you start saving even $100 a month when you’re in your 20’s, that amount will turn into thousands by the time you retire.  Spending focused, quality time with young children will also provide huge dividends in the future. – Shannon Williams

“Mothers shape the world by shaping its population, one person at a time.  They provide stability and comfort so subtly and so quietly that it seldom gets noticed.  In this chaotic world, it is motherhood that holds the strands of life together.” – Jean Benson

Several years ago my husband and I served as a Ma and Pa on our stake’s pioneer trek.  At one point in the trek they pretended that all the men had been called to the Mormon Battalion and the women had to push the handcarts alone.  They had the men line the trail as the women were going up the steep hill.  The men were not allowed to help.  All they could do was to stand on the sidelines and cheer.

As parents, there are many times in our lives when we feel as helpless as the men.  We watch our children go through hard times, knowing that we cannot carry the burden for them.  All we can do is stand on the sidelines and cheer.  – Shannon Williams

“When you pound on the doors of heaven to ask for, to plead for, to DEMAND guidance and wisdom and help for this wondrous task, that door is thrown open to provide you the influence and the help of all eternity.  Elder Holland tells us to ‘claim the promises of the Savior of the world.  Ask for the healing balm of the atonement for whatever may be troubling you or your children.  Know that in faith things will be made right in spite of you, or more correctly, because of you.” (Jeffrey Holland, April 1997 “Because She Is A Mother”)

Motherhood is truly a royal calling.  That doesn’t mean that you don’t feel the weight of the mantle.  You feel it.  Satan tries to stifle us with our own insecurities and inadequacies.  He reminds us of everything we’re not (as if our children weren’t already doing that).  Don’t listen.  Listen to Heavenly Father, who entrusted you with those children in the first place.  Let His be the voice you trust to tell you the truth.  Trust yourself.  Your instincts are spiritual radar. The Lord will bless you. 

In April General Conference 2008, Elder M. Russell Ballard gave a wonderful talk entitled “Daughters of God.”  He said, “There is no role in life more essential and more eternal than that of motherhood.” He then added, “There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. Many are able to be “full-time moms,” at least during the most formative years of their children’s lives, and many others would like to be. Some may have to work part-or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else.”

I love what Julie B. Beck a former general president of the Relief Society said during her tenure.  “ The question of whether or not to work is the wrong question.  The question is, “Am I aligned with the Lord’s vision of me and what He needs me to become and the roles and responsibilities He gave me in heaven that are not negotiable.” Once we have the confirmation that what we are doing is God’s plan for us it gives us the power and strength to move forward…regardless of what anyone else says.” (BYU Women’s Conference 2011)

My sister Laurie shared an interesting insight with me the other day.  We were talking about the story of Mary and Martha.  She mentioned that perhaps the reason Christ reprimanded Martha was not because she was cleaning house instead of listening to Him, but rather because she was judging Mary for the choices she had made.  Let us not be guilty of the same.  – Shannon Williams

Even if it were possible to shield our children from all sadness, pain and disappointment, it would result in us sending them out into the world totally unprepared to deal with the realities of life. The analogies of artificially helping a baby chick out of the shell or prematurely helping a butterfly emerge from a chrysalis teach us that struggle is a necessary part of life.  When we allow our children to experience the full range of human emotions, they develop the strength necessary to cope with the difficulties of adulthood. Shannon Williams

The Mother’s Homework Prayer

Please grant me the serenity to accept

 The homework assignment I cannot change

The courage to help my children complete it as I can

And the strength to finish it without either of us ending up in a body bag.

The most important things a pregnant woman can do are eat well, avoid drugs, and keep the stress down.  A developing fetus is very sensitive to stress and poor nutrition.  Most brain cells are produced between the fourth and seventh month of gestation.  At its peak, the embryo is generating brain cells at the rate of 250,000 a minute, or 1.5 million cells per hour. We now understand that the first 48 months of life are critical to the brain’s development.  The experiences of the first year can completely change the way a person turns out.

Many of today’s children don’t get the early motor stimulation needed for basic, much less optimal, school success.  Today’s infant is baby-sat by television, seated in a walker, or strapped in a car seat for hundreds of precious motor development hours.  By age four you have essentially designed a brain that is not going to change very much more.  Children need a flood of information.  The flood should not come from television, which often is used as a babysitter.  TV provides no time for reflection, interactions, or three-dimensional visual development.  Parents would be wise to invest the time talking to their babies, speaking in short sentences and pointing out objects that are here, and now, or three dimensional. Infants whose parents talk to them more frequently and use bigger, adult words will develop better language skills. – Eric Jensen, “Teaching With The Brain in Mind”

Decades of research demonstrate that enjoying reading and reading well are the biggest factors in a child’s school success.  Good readers make great students.  They score higher on achievement tests in every grade, in all subjects, including math and science. Children who have a difficult time reading will struggle in school and struggle in life.  It is one of the most fundamental building blocks of learning. – Dudsen Culbreth, “Rock Solid Readers”

Oftentimes parents get the message that gifted kids can be created through intelligence-enhancing parenting techniques.  Marketers feed into their anxiety such products as Baby Einstein videos and “smart” baby food spiked with fish oil that promise to help transform the average toddler into a high achiever. I’m starting to think being smart is overrated.  We all know adults who are super smart but somehow never learned the basic playground rules about how to play with others.  And while it would be nice if my child turns out to be gifted, it would be even better if she turned out to be kind, confident and happy. – Kathleen Deveny

Our kids are born with infinite capacity to learn, create and contribute.  If we keep that in mind, and make an effort to enhance their natural abilities, we can let our children shine. Education isn’t going to get any better unless parents do more to expand learning outside of school.  This doesn’t necessarily mean workbooks and flashcards.  What it does mean is teaching kids that the world is a classroom, and you don’t switch from learning to entertainment when the bell rings or when you’re handed a diploma.  If our kids see us learning, they will want to learn.  If we talk about concepts and ideas with enthusiasm, we teach our kids that exploring new ideas is exciting.  We can piggyback off what they are learning in school with library books, videos, trips to museums and good plain talking.  Most importantly, we can teach by example that learning is fun.

– Tiffany Gee Lewis