Motherhood – Patience

Talks

Quotes

In her book Spiritually Centered Motherhood Sherri Johnson explains, “You cannot be something you have not become.”  “A person who reacts with anger had to become a person who reacts with anger.  At some point he or she had to choose to be that way.”  “When we admit to ourselves that we choose our own feelings and actions, we have taken a major step of progression.”

As a general rule, a man is about as big as the things that make him angry.

Sydney J. Harris once said, “Nobody is unhappier than the perpetual reactor.  His center of emotional gravity is not rooted within himself, where it belongs, but in the world outside him.  His temperature is always being raised or lowered by the social climate around him and he is a mere creature at the mercy of these elements.  Serenity cannot be achieved until we become the masters of our own actions and attitudes.  To let another determine whether we shall be rude or gracious, elated or depressed is to relinquish control over our own personalities, which is ultimately all we possess.  The only true possession is self possession.”

“Speak when you are angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” – Groucho Marx

Sometimes when things are escalating, you simply have to remove yourself from the situation. Don’t try to talk when tempers are high. “Teaching moments come at peaceful times when the spirit is there to help us communicate.  Remove yourself from the situation and write a letter or talk later. (Sherri Johnson, Spiritually Centered Motherhood, pg. 56)

Steven Covey once said, “You get caught up in the moment.  You say things you don’t mean.  You do things you later regret.  And you think, ‘Oh, if only I had stopped to think about it, I never would have reacted that way!”  “What we all need is a ‘pause button’ – something that enables us to stop between what happens to us and our response to it, and to choose our own response.”  This gives us the ability to act based on principles and values rather than reacting based on emotion or circumstance.

Getting angry can sometimes be like leaping into a wonderfully responsive sports car, gunning the motor, taking off at high speed and then discovering the brakes are out of order. – Maggie Scarf in New York Times Magazine

“I like to compare this to shifting gears in a car.  If you try to shift straight from reverse to first gear, you strip the gears.  Likewise, it is next to impossible to change directly from a negative emotional to a positive one.  Emotions are too strong.  But if instead, we just concentrate on moving the negative emotions to “neutral” or in other words, stop the negative actions and feelings until we have control enough to think and reason, then we can follow the promptings within us and move to the positive emotion.” (Sherri Johnson, Spiritually Centered Motherhood, pg. 93)

In October 2012, Quentin L. Cook said the following, “How we treat those closest to us is of fundamental importance. Violence, abuse, lack of civility, and disrespect in the home are not acceptable—not acceptable for adults and not acceptable for the rising generation. My father used to say “God will hold men responsible for every tear they cause their wives to shed.” This same concept is emphasized in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.” It reads, “Those who abuse spouse or offspring … will one day stand accountable before God.” Regardless of the culture in which we are raised, and whether our parents did or did not abuse us, we must not physically, emotionally, or verbally abuse anyone else.”