Self-esteem

Talks

Quotes

You wouldn’t care so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do. – Eleanor Roosevelt

I am not what you think I am, I am not what I think I am, I am what I think you think I am. – Thomas Cooley

“Just because God is smiling on someone else doesn’t mean He is frowning on you.” – Becky Young Fawcett (Ensign September 2015 pg 24) The article includes a quote by Jeffrey Holland “Brothers and sisters, there are going to be times in our lives when someone else gets an unexpected blessing or receives some special recognition.  May I plead with us not to be hurt – and certainly not to feel envious – when good fortune comes to another person?  We are not diminished when someone else is added upon.  We are not in a race against each other to see who is the wealthiest or the most talented or the most beautiful or even the most blesesd.  The race we are really in is the race again sin, and surely envy is one of the most universal of those.”  Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the quorum of the Twelve Apostles.  “The Laborers in the Vineyard,” Ensign, May 2012, 31.

Christ never compared himself to others.

In God’s eyes, nobody is a nobody.

John Dewey said, “The deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important.  It is a gnawing, unfaltering hunger.”

Love neighbor as thyself.  It’s a commandment.

Never say anything to yourself that you would not say to others

President Uchtdorf said: “God loves you this very day and always.  He is not waiting to love you until you have overcome your weaknesses and bad habits.  He loves you today with a full understanding of your struggles… He knows of your remorse for the times you have fallen short or failed.  And still He loves you.   He wants you to achieve your destiny – to return to your heavenly home in honor.”

If any of you lack self worth, let him ask of God.

Do the best you can with what you have.

Every human being is trying to say something to others, trying to cry out “I am alive, Notice me!  Speak to me!  Listen to me!  Confirm for me that I am important, that I matter!”  Marion D. Hanks

Regardless of whom you marry, you are going to spend eternity with yourself.  You might as well learn to love yourself.

There are two important days in a girl’s life – The day she is born and the day she finds out why.

Elaine Cannon

Self-esteem is important because when we have peace within ourselves we are able to spend our energies fighting external battles.  Just as a country fighting a civil war would have difficulty winning a battle with a neighboring country, we will not be able to deal effectively with life’s challenges if we are constantly at war with ourselves. – Shannon Williams

Abraham Lincoln was one of the few people in this world able to laugh at himself.  Among other things he often made fun of his looks.  Once, during a political debate before he became president, an opponent accused him of being two-faced.  Without hesitation the lanky lawyer from Illinois replied, “I leave it to my audience to decide – if I had two faces, would I be wearing this one?”

Jennifer James, Ph.D.: Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value.  Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point – that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you.  There is only one alternative – self-value.  If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe you are loved.  You will always think it’s a mistake or luck.  Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within.  Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. 

The foundation for self-esteem is the first song you learned in primary “I am a Child of God.”  You need to realize you are an heir of His.  Self-esteem doesn’t mean that you always feel good about yourself. It is simply realizing that you matter to Heavenly Father.

2 Nephi 4:17 “O wretched man that I am” We all have Nephi moments when we wish we were better than we are.  However, there will always be a gap between what we are and what we want to be.

Once you accept yourself, others will accept you.

Once you accept yourself, you’ll accept others.

The master of creation takes time to listen to each prayer you pray – that’s how valuable you are.

We tell others to take it easy on themselves – do you do that for you?

You need to have “alone time” with yourself every once in a while.

If you can’t be a success being yourself, you can’t be a success being someone else.

If I don’t love myself, how can I love my maker?  When your relationship with yourself deteriorates, your relationship with God deteriorates.

When it comes to body language, there are some who have better vocabularies than others. – Doug Larson

No one can ever make you feel inferior without your consent. – Eleanor Roosevelt

We often leave our lives in the careless hands of others.

Who are you trying to impress?

Ways to increase self-esteem

1. Be honest with yourself and others

2. Don’t’ change your values system to fit in.

3. Don’t expect perfection of yourself

4. Don’t compare to others – “mirror, mirror on the wall”

5. Develop a sense of humor

6. Take responsibility for yourself, no complaining

7. Socrates said “Know Thyself”

When you insult yourself, you are insulting God’s creation

Honestly ask yourself “What changeable things detract from my self-esteem?”

Self-esteem doesn’t come from not having weaknesses, but from striving to change our weaknesses into strengths.

Have you ever heard of a patriarchal blessing that says “Sorry, you’re a loser – see you in 70 years?”

Always remember you’re unique – just like everyone else.

Brad Wilcox used an analogy of a piano student in a BYU devotional, and said, “There should never be just two options: perfection or giving up. When learning the piano, are the only options performing at Carnegie Hall or quitting? No. Growth and development take time. Learning takes time.”

My mission president, President Craven always stresses the importance of looking vertically rather than horizontally. If we think horizontally, we’re always worrying about what others think of us, what we look like, if our numbers are high……but as we start looking vertically, we care ONLY about what God thinks. And that’s where true happiness is found! I think of the examples in scripture…Nephi wouldn’t have been very happy, or very courageous, if he had cared what his brothers thought of him. Noah probably didn’t feel too good when people mocked him for building an ark. But as they looked vertically, and only thought of their Heavenly Father, they found true strength; true happiness. I love the counsel in Alma 26:3, “Whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day.” Rachel Larsen

It may seem odd to think of having a relationship with ourselves, but we do. Some people can’t get along with themselves. They criticize and belittle themselves all day long until they begin to hate themselves. May I suggest that you reduce the rush and take a little extra time to get to know yourself better. Walk in nature, watch a sunrise, enjoy God’s creations, ponder the truths of the restored gospel, and find out what they mean for you personally. Learn to see yourself as Heavenly Father sees you—as His precious daughter or son with divine potential. Dieter F. Uchtdorf October 2010 “Of Things that Matter Most”

John Bytheway said something to the effect:  Think of your emotions as a remote control.  Are you willing to turn over the remote control to another person? Who will you allow to control your emotions?  Always keep the remote for yourself. 

I think freckles are cute when you’re young.  I think wrinkles are cute when you’re old.  But one day at the age of 47 I looked in the mirror and saw freckles on my wrinkles.  Not a good day! – Shannon Williams

An old proverb says, “The best time to plan a tree is 20 years ago.  The second-best time is now.”  There is something wonderful and hopeful about the word now.  There is something empowering about the fact that if we choose to decide now, we can move forward at this very moment.  Now is the best time to start becoming the person we eventually want to be – not only 20 years from now but also for all eternity.” – See lds.org/go/change15

Bruce Hafen said in his book The Broken Heart, “Not only is popular opinion too fickle and fleeting to serve as a reliable guide for our self-worth, but others cannot possibly know enough about our hearts and the innermost elements of our lives to judge us fairly.  Also, men’s standards of judgment are not sound, because they lack the perspective of eternity.  Thus our dependence upon outward signs of success and our vulnerability to adverse judgments by others can divert us from establishing a relationship with the only One whose judgment ultimately matters very much.”

Motto of Alcoholics Anonymous.  “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can change, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

President Uchtdorf said, “Some suppose thathumilityis about beating ourselves up. Humility does not mean convincing ourselves that we are worthless, meaningless, or of little value. Nor does it mean denying or withholding the talents God has given us. We don’t discover humility by thinking less of ourselves; we discover humility by thinking less about ourselves. It comes as we go about our work with an attitude of serving God and our fellowmen.

Humility directs our attention and love toward others and to Heavenly Father’s purposes. Pride does the opposite. Pride draws its energy and strength from the deep wells of selfishness. The moment we stop obsessing with ourselves and lose ourselves in service, our pride diminishes and begins to die.”  (Uchdorf, October General Conference 2010)

You’ve probably all seen the object lesson where someone holds up a $20 bill and asks if anyone wants it.  Several people raise their hands.  Then the teacher crumples up the money and asks again, “Who still wants this?”  The people continue to raise their hands.  The teacher then spits on the money, stomps it under her foot and again asks the class if anyone wants it.  Of course, they all do.  The teacher then makes the point that no matter what happens to that $20 bill, its value is unchanged.  It’s still worth $20.  The same is true of us.  No matter what happens to us in life, our self-worth is unchanged.

We each know our limitations.  They are real.  If we depend totally on ourselves to accomplish the things we are asked to do, we will fail.  However, the power of God is endless.  Like the scriptures say, “With God, nothing shall be impossible.”  We can increase our own confidence by teaming up with the Lord and making him a part of our lives.  There is nothing you and He can’t do together. – Shannon Williams

I really like the motto of Alcoholics Anonymous.  “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can change, and the wisdom to know the difference.”  There are certain things about us that we can change – our attitude, some aspects of our physical appearance, our behavior, and other things that we cannot change.  If we can accept the unchangeable and focus our energies on those over which we have control, our self-esteem will grow. – Shannon Williams

All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.